compassionate communities – Dr Annetta Mallon

A look into family life at End Of Life

There is a very useful article from Discover Society which considers what happens in families – and in terms of acting like ‘family’ – when someone is at End Of Life.

The article also contains some useful additional reading at the bottom of the page.

Would you like to explore the world of End Of Life and building compassionate communities and networks, including family?

Let’s talk.

Informal carers, the cared-for, and how an End Of Life Doula can benefit both.

This TED talk by Scott Williams (pictured above), considers the importance of unpaid carers, how much carers boost the economy (there are Australian figures in this talk), and how essential the role and work of a carer is not just to society, but for the person who is cared for. The role of carer is one that is quite familiar to many, many members of our communities – but we may be frequently isolated within that role, or not well-versed in articulating that we are carers (particularly when the role has slowly changed and increased over time. If you are caring for someone at their End Of Life, or if you yourself are at End Of Life and would like to better understand compassionate communities and how to more effectively communicate your needs around caring, an End Of Life Doula may be just what you need.

In our multi-tasking 21st century lives, having someone to focus on the way a compassionate community of carers and supporting, loving people interact together can be the perfect stress-reduction factor. End Of Life Doulas provide a sympathetic ear, an objective and compassionate set of problem-solving skills, and in my case a background as a psychotherapist and counsellor which is useful when carers/ network members may be tired, emotional, distressed or overwhelmed.

End Of Life Doulas like myself often act as negotiators and communication hubs for those around someone at End Of Life, passing along information, doing research, translating medical-speak when needed, helping to arrange schedules and/or helping friends and family to better understand how to plan time and activities more effectively to fit in with busy lifestyles.

I am an End Of Life Doula who can facilitate communications amongst and between carers and the cared-for, help you build a more supportive network of support, help you better understand your advance planning choices, and be a proactive member of your End Of Life community.

Let’s talk.

Sensible advice for holding your boundaries

It is often difficult when we are ill, stressed, overwhelmed, or any combination of these, to remember that is is perfectly fine to say ‘no’ when we need to. During End Of Life – our own, or that of someone close to us – it is particularly sensible to hold strong boundaries, and to refuse information or inappropriate actions from those around us. Even when they mean well.

A useful set of parameters is provided here – and although the article is written by an oncologist and is focused on those living with a cancer diagnosis, the parameters laid out translate well to other illnesses and diagnoses.

An End Of Life Doula can be a great asset in helping you to navigate your treatment choices and options, construct the compassionate community that will serve you best in your own personal circumstances, and to help you hold the boundaries in place when that help is needed or requested by you.

Let’s talk.