Why Mamma Mia 2 – here we go again is a wonderful metaphor for life after *** SPOILER ALERT!

If you haven’t yet seen Mamma Mia 2 and do not wish to know about a central aspect of the film’s plot please return for either my next post, or when you have had a chance to watch the movie.

Hubs and Self went to see the film last night, and we really enjoyed it – and we had read a fair bit of negative press, mostly complaining that the film lacked the ‘exuberance’ of the first one. And, yes, I can confirm that the sequel does not have the relentless, driving energy and breathless pace of the first. And this is sensible for a few good reasons…

  1. This is not the original, this is a sequel. If you are really attached to the pace of the first one then you are free to keep watching it. #sorted
  2. Everyone is older, and as we mature we do not have the relentless energy of youth – as humans we are subject to time (and oxygen, but that’s another blog post).
  3. Donna is dead and the film considers life, music, love, and change through a framework of loss and mourning that would be caricatured at best if a poppy, bouncy, high-energy approach to the movie was present. And this last is why I really loved (and yes, I cried at times… I did grow up listening to ABBA after all, and I am nostalgic and romantic and sentimental at times) how the movie is paced and crafted.

When someone we love dies we are changed. Even though we still feel love, joy, sorrow, exuberance, happiness, fear – all the things that make us human, sentient, and complex – we feel them through a new lens of experience. We have an ‘after’ now, which informs our responses and our understanding of the world. The film also takes place at the first anniversary of Donna’s death, and many of the characters respond with tears and sorrow to this date – it is not uncommon in real life for the full force of grief, loss, and mourning to take effect after a year has passed, taking many of us by surprise, so as an EOL Doula and sociologist I liked the honesty of the writing.

I could write for hours about how well I think the filmmakers compromised between happy music and a full perspective of emotion after a death, but I think I will leave this post shorter than I had intended. Just like our lives…

May your day be filled with music, laughter, joy, and enough bittersweet memory of all the people and times you have loved to make it a rich one.

If you are experiencing your own anniversary of a death and would like to know more about your own End Of Life options, please do not hesitate to contact me. I am an End Of Life Doula who will help you find the right soundtrack for your advance planning and funeral.

Let’s talk.

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Why Knowing Your Consumer Rights Around Funerals, After-Death Bodycare, and Body Ownership Can Save You Money (as well as time, heartache, and energy…)

There has been a flurry of financial information doing the rounds of Australian news outlets in the last few days – see HERE and HERE from finder.com.au for details.

The average cost of a funeral now in Sydney is more than $8K, a startling figure in light of how inexpensive a funeral and cremation can be if you know your consumer rights and plan in advance. Of course, ‘planning’ refers to honest, open considerations of personal wishes and ideas, and open, honest conversations and a willingness to listen to the person whose End Of Life you are planning. The open-mindedness particularly pertains to Advance Health Care Directive (AHCD) planning.

This is one area of death, dying, and End Of life documentation for which I strongly recommend you engage a suitably-informed End Of Life Doula; as there are sometimes state-by-state variations it is always a sensible idea to double-check that the EOL Doula you wish to retain for this purpose is an expert in the state you live in. This is a consideration for people who live close to state/territory borders, or who may know someone who is a highly-skilled EOL Doula, but they practice in a different state.

I am a staunch advocate of transparency in costing, as well as in consumer rights – however the corporate funeral industry in Australia is quite resistant to having informed consumers as this means the profit margins will be lowered – see Ibisworld for further information. One of the locked figures is the profit margin, estimated by the 2017 Ibisworld Report at 1.2 billion AUD per annum and growing.

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As a way of increasing death literacy and awareness in my area I am hosting an information evening: Plan Your End Of Life & Live Better! an official #D2KD event on August 8th with consumer education as the focus. Many events are being held around Australia throughout August, so have a look at the #D2KD site to see if there is one near you. Alternatively, if you prefer one-to-one interactions feel free to contact me to talk about your rights and choices at End Of Life – but remember I am based in NSW. For other Australian states, or to find an EOL Doula closer to your home, try The End Of Life Doula Directory.

Curious about your rights and consumer options? I specialise in information transfer and am extraordinarily good at explaining things from different perspectives so we can be sure you are fully informed and have all your questions answered.

Let’s talk.

A look into family life at End Of Life

There is a very useful article from Discover Society which considers what happens in families – and in terms of acting like ‘family’ – when someone is at End Of Life.

The article also contains some useful additional reading at the bottom of the page.

Would you like to explore the world of End Of Life and building compassionate communities and networks, including family?

Let’s talk.